Shit My Dad Says by Justin Halpern - Hardcover

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

“You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life.”

On Receiving Straight As on My Report Card “Hot damn! You’re a smart kid—I don’t care what people say about you!…I’m kidding, nobody says you’re not smart. They say other stuff, but not that.”

“You can do what you want. But I can also do what I want. And what I’ll be doing is telling everyone how fucking stupid your tattoo is.”

Justin weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his dad's quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts. Shit My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.